Four Months Cloth Diapering

After four months of cloth diapering, both part-time and full time, this is a run down of my experiences. I have included lots of links to the products that I like the most for anyone that may be interested.

When I was pregnant I purchased prefold and flat diapers to use as the absorbant part.  Had I known then what I know now, I would have purchased more flats and less prefolds.  I purchased a variety of waterproof covers to use over them.  I also got a free pocket diaper with an order, but have yet to make that work for us with any consistency.

When we brought Gideon home, I was very excited to start cloth diapering.  It didn't really work out as I expected though.  He was nearly nine pounds and his cord stump took forever to fall off.  Newborn covers with cord dips were barely fitting anymore.  Small covers that otherwise fit fine would rub and irritate his cord stump.  So we part-time diapered until his stump fell off and we could use his Flip covers. 

Poop has been a non-issue for us so far.  Since breastfed poop is completely water soluble I do not need to dunk or swish my diapers.  Everything goes in the wash as is and comes out clean and fresh smelling. I used to put oxyclean in every wash but I don't do anything special to fight stains anymore, so my diapers are a bit "colorful" these days.  When we start solids I'm going to invest in a diaper sprayer for poopy messes.

If I could do the whole newborn stage over again...  I would have purchased preemie prefolds instead of newborn.  It would have been trimmer and he would have gone straight from preemies into small Clotheez Flats .  I would also want to have about six Bummis Newborn Pull-On covers and six Thirsties Duo Wraps Size One (snap version).  Pull on covers can be tucked under cord stumps and Thirsties Duo Wraps are very adjustable.  Throw in some Snappis and/or Boingos to fasten the prefolds/flats and that is my perfect newborn stash!

After Gideon's cord stump fell off, we began to use Flip one-size diaper covers.  They fit him great and contained almost any mess Gideon could unleash upon them.  We stuffed a pad-folded Flat or tri-folded Prefold in the cover and it was both trim and absorbant.  I would have been a die-hard Flip fan if I hadn't stumbled upon Diaper Safari Covers, which are similar but fit just a bit better and are $5 cheaper. 

Diaper Safari Covers with a Clotheez Small Flat diaper are my favorite diaper combination at the moment.  This is plenty absorbant during the day and not bulky at all.  Unfortunately we have had to use disposables at night recently as we try to find a nighttime diaper combo that will keep us dry in the morning.

My perfect stash at the moment would probably be one dozen small Flats, two dozen large Flats, two or three of every color Diaper Safari Cover I like, a half dozen Bumgenius Elementals for baby-sitters and outings, and some super absorbant hemp fitteds with Bummis Pull-On Covers for overnight.

Surprisingly, my husband has become a big fan of cloth diapers.  He was very skeptical of cloth at first, but now would choose that over a disposable every time.

Overall, I've had a really good experience with cloth diapering.  They contain poopy blowouts better than any disposable ever could.  They smell less than a disposable.  They are definately cheaper in the long run.  My Son's bum is getting a lot less chemical exposure.  And I'm leaving less waste behind for future generations to have to deal with. 

Did I mention that they are way cuter too?

Three Months Doing the Whole First Time Mom Thing

Originally posted February 13, 2013 on my Facebook Notes.

Not too many days ago, I sat on the floor of Gideon’s nursery while nursing him.  I hadn’t done that since shortly after his tongue-tie was clipped.  I needed the light back then to make sure I was positioning him right, make sure I was positioning myself right, and to readjust his latch as necessary.  I did not, however, want to wake my husband by nursing in our room.  So every night, several times a night, I would get up with Gideon and go to the nursery.  Far too often our nighttime excursions were a tear-filled event in which I braced myself for the dreaded latch-on and everlasting nursing session brought on by his tongue-tie.  I have a hard time grasping that those days were only a few weeks ago… it feels as though years have passed.

 

Gideon’s traumatic entrance into this world still packs a punch that occasionally stops me in my tracks and takes the breath from my lungs.  After so many months of falling in love with him, I thought that I had lost him before I had even seen his face.  Seeing him for the first time was such a powerful experience, but I felt almost removed from the situation.  That feeling of not really being there continued until I sat in the car with him on the day we took him home.  The emotional back-log came then.  I cried hysterically with joy, sadness, anxiety… so incredibly overwhelmed after not allowing myself to really feel these things.  We were taking him home.

I wish that I had called a Lactation Consultant right then.  In hindsight, so much that was so difficult would have been easier if nursing had gone smoothly.  Gideon would not have been constantly nursing or crying from hunger.  I would not have been in so much pain.  Without those two things, I would probably not been hit so hard with baby blues.  I would not have lived for the hours between my husband getting home from work and going to sleep, his presence being the umbrella in my storm.  I would have been able to enjoy Gideon the way that I was supposed to.  We’ll never get that time back.

Secondly I wish I had had an understanding adult spend time with me when my husband was at work.  I was so convinced that we needed privacy for myself and Jamie to start bonding with Gideon and developing some introductory parenting skills.  I was incredibly lonely between Jamie going to sleep at night and coming home from work.  I should have invited people to be with us.  Hang out with Gideon while I showered.  Alleviate the suffocating loneliness of being a first time Mom with a newborn. 

My whole world started to turn right side up after meeting with a Lactation Consultant.  Gideon’s tongue-tie was diagnosed.  I learned how to help him get more milk and nurse more comfortably until we could get the tongue-tie clipped.  The sun came out from behind the clouds that day.  I can not express enough gratitude to my sister-in-law, Patti, Amie Norris, and Lisa Weinshenker, without whom I would have eventually given up on breastfeeding.

The fading pain of nursing and my advancing babywearing skills made day to day living less traumatic for Gideon and I.  He was so much happier.  His contentment made my storm clouds less frequent.  I suppose that this was probably around the same time that my hormones were finally balancing out after birth as well. 

Now that the majority of the storm has passed, I can enjoy my son the way that I am supposed to.  Gideon is an awe inspiring little creature.  It seems as though he develops new skills on a daily basis.  He recognizes us and follows us with his eyes.  We are rewarded regularly with big toothless grins that speak for his happiness.  He grabs, coos at, and tells off his toys.  He snores, moans, and chuckles in his sleep.  Changing his diaper has gone from a screaming fit to a game in which he kicks his legs in a frenzy.  His neck, back, arms, and legs are so very strong and every doctor we’ve seen has commented on that. 

Every day with my son is more amazing than the last.  I am lucky enough to wake up to his face every morning and fall asleep listening to him breath.  When his face lights up with happiness, I can’t help but smile.  When he cries, I feel his pain.  The way he watches me while he nurses make my heart swell to almost painful proportions. 

How is it that I ever lived without him?

Birth of Honey Badger Baby

Born November 16, 2012.

I was so excited when my water broke.  I had been looking forward to this moment for months.  I was going to get to experience bringing another person into the world.  I was going to meet my son after so many months of wanting to so badly to hold him.

I had joked about my water breaking at work and it was hilarious that that is actually how it happened.  I think that the buzz that seemed to flow through everyone was amazing and a little entertaining.  I didn’t feel as though I was in labor yet and was a little concerned that I had just peed my pants.

When my husband brought me home, I took a shower.  My Ann stopped by to see me before she went to work for a couple hours.   Jamie and I walked a mile to get contractions going and grabbed some food on the way to the hospital.  Everything was so surreal.  I felt so good though.  I was so excited.

Patti came to the hospital and she and Jamie were my support team.  This is where things start to become a little fuzzy.  I was in my own world as the pain with every contraction got a little worse than the one before it.  Jamie was my rock the whole time, I could not ask for a better husband.  I know that my being in pain is a difficult thing for him to handle, but he did and never once complained.  We walked the hallway a few times to encourage my labor.  Eventually we went back to the room.  Ann came, my support team was complete.  I was still handling things at that point, but it was getting to be so hard.  Chris and Suzi stopped in, but I can hardly remember them being there.  Then all I can think of was the pain.  I was unprepared.  I was trying not to be frustrated with everyone.  The pain was constant, there was no break.  I felt like I would never feel good again.  I requested the epidural and felt failure creeping from every pore.  Failure and pain are what I remember at that point.  Then anger for feeling like a failure.  So anger and failure and pain. 

I remember the anaesthesiologist really well.  I remember trying to hold still for him through contractions while my nurse, Kim, held me.  I really loved Kim.  Then there was relief.  It was an amazing moment.

I was surprised by how much I could still feel though.  I was led to believe that epidurals would completely numb me from the bottom of my ribs down.  I could still wiggle my toes, move my legs, and feel my contractions.  I just wasn’t suffering anymore.  Not physically suffering.  I was still feeling the failure and the anger.

I was 5 cm dialated when the epidural was administered.  Those 5 cm took several difficult hours.  I finally rested and napped and practically jumped to 7 cm. 

Julie came to visit. I’m really vague on that, but I was getting some of the most amazing rest I think I have ever had.  There was some Pitocin administered at some point that I probably would have rejected had the exhaustion of earlier not had me so very drowsy. 

I felt so much joy when my Midwife, Charlene, arrived.  I knew from the first time that we got together with her, that I would enjoy having her as my Midwife.  She had faith in me, she listened to me, she answered my questions, she has never made me feel judged and put my anxieties at ease.

Eventually I was feeling the pressure, uncomfortably strong pressure.  I was feeling an urge to push.  Not uncontrollable at that point, but certainly there.  Ten centimeters and ready to go.

Things got hard again at that point.  Pushing a baby out is hard work.  I was in pain again, pain in my lower back, but there is an amazing relief in pushing during this stage.  I desperately wanted to be in a different position, but in return for my blissful rest, I was bed bound.  Jamie was my prince, Ann was helping to count, and Patti was making sure to get the pictures and video I so desperately wanted.  It was difficult, but I felt the support from these people around me and I was so very grateful.  Charlene and Kim held my legs and coached me in the beginning.  There were times when Jamie and Ann took turns as leg supporters. 

We took a break from coached pushing.  My pain was getting worse and it was affecting my ability to push strongly while my urge to push was getting stronger and almost impossible to control.  I wanted to use my bump-up-the-epidural button.  Charlene and Kim warned that it may make it take longer to push, but I didn’t feel as though I could push much longer without it.  It did not dull the pain too much more, but was just enough to give me a bit more strength. 

And then there was pushing… and pushing… and more pushing.  There was still pain.  There was also still the relief of pushing against the pressure.  Charlene was now massaging my perineum while I pushed.  Gideon’s head was showing with every push.  I know that I started to complain of the pain when the “Ring of Fire” began.  It is amazing how numb you can be from the pressure on your perineum, but you can feel the fire begin when your baby crowns and that stretch is held. 

The crowning is amazing even with the pain.  I had a mirror so that I could see what was going on.  I really can’t help but smile when I think about this.  I was so happy.  Labor had not gone as well as I had hoped, but we were almost there.  I could see his hair.  I was going to hold my baby soon.  We were finally going to be the family I have been dreaming about since I found out I was pregnant.  We were almost there and everything was going so well.

Then everything went wrong…

His head emerged.  There were three loops of cord around his neck, while Charlene was unlooping them, green waters started to gush, and then his shoulders got stuck.  I couldn’t push him out.  Two nurses were on top on me, pushing on my abdomen while Charlene tried to maneuver him out and I pushed with everything I had.  Charlene was yelling for people.  There was panic in her voice.  After what seemed like an eternity, he was out an on my chest, then he was whipped away.  A little blue body with limp limbs and no voice.

I know I was crying for him.  I think I may have begged for him.  I wanted some confirmation that he was going to be okay.  Jamie was in my ear telling me that he could see him moving, I couldn’t see it.  Jamie told me that he could hear him making little noises, I couldn’t hear it.  I wanted Jamie to go to him, but he couldn’t.  My baby was dead, that was all I could think, it was all I could feel.  Gideon was rushed to NICU and all I had been able to see of him were his little limp limbs. 

Charlene was attempting to help me deliver my placenta at this point.  There was something wrong with that too.  My placenta was large, stubborn, and had calcification that indicated premature aging.  I was given a strong IV pain reliever when Charlene decided to go in after it. 

After all of this, all I could think of is my baby.  I wanted him so badly.  I never got to see his face.  I was not able to get up though.  I was stuck far away from him.  I wouldn’t be able to see him until I could get out of bed.  I felt dead.

Eventually a nurse came in and apologized for how things had played out.  She took Jamie to see our son and get a picture to show me.  Gideon was alive and his skin wasn’t blue anymore, but he was still so far away.

As soon as I could possibly manage it, I went to see my son.  He was so amazing.  His skin was pink.  He was fussing with his fingers.  He was alive.  I kept reassuring myself of that.  My baby was alive.  His skin was warm and soft.  His little chest moved quickly with every breath.  Everything was going to be okay.

I married one of the most amazing people in the world.  Jamie was a rock the entire time.  Never once lost his cool.  He supported me through every natural contraction.  He supported my decision to have pain relief though he shares my mistrust of over-medication.  He stayed calm while his son was also whipped away from him, so that he could try to hold me together.  I think back on all the times that people giggled about how he would “faint” at the birth of his son, or lose his cool in some other way, and I get angry and want to write a list of people to smack.

Everything is going to be okay.