Saturday, March 30, 2013

Three Months Doing the Whole First Time Mom Thing

Originally posted February 13, 2013 on my Facebook Notes.

Not too many days ago, I sat on the floor of Gideon’s nursery while nursing him.  I hadn’t done that since shortly after his tongue-tie was clipped.  I needed the light back then to make sure I was positioning him right, make sure I was positioning myself right, and to readjust his latch as necessary.  I did not, however, want to wake my husband by nursing in our room.  So every night, several times a night, I would get up with Gideon and go to the nursery.  Far too often our nighttime excursions were a tear-filled event in which I braced myself for the dreaded latch-on and everlasting nursing session brought on by his tongue-tie.  I have a hard time grasping that those days were only a few weeks ago… it feels as though years have passed.
 


Gideon’s traumatic entrance into this world still packs a punch that occasionally stops me in my tracks and takes the breath from my lungs.  After so many months of falling in love with him, I thought that I had lost him before I had even seen his face.  Seeing him for the first time was such a powerful experience, but I felt almost removed from the situation.  That feeling of not really being there continued until I sat in the car with him on the day we took him home.  The emotional back-log came then.  I cried hysterically with joy, sadness, anxiety… so incredibly overwhelmed after not allowing myself to really feel these things.  We were taking him home.




I wish that I had called a Lactation Consultant right then.  In hindsight, so much that was so difficult would have been easier if nursing had gone smoothly.  Gideon would not have been constantly nursing or crying from hunger.  I would not have been in so much pain.  Without those two things, I would probably not been hit so hard with baby blues.  I would not have lived for the hours between my husband getting home from work and going to sleep, his presence being the umbrella in my storm.  I would have been able to enjoy Gideon the way that I was supposed to.  We’ll never get that time back.

Secondly I wish I had had an understanding adult spend time with me when my husband was at work.  I was so convinced that we needed privacy for myself and Jamie to start bonding with Gideon and developing some introductory parenting skills.  I was incredibly lonely between Jamie going to sleep at night and coming home from work.  I should have invited people to be with us.  Hang out with Gideon while I showered.  Alleviate the suffocating loneliness of being a first time Mom with a newborn. 




My whole world started to turn right side up after meeting with a Lactation Consultant.  Gideon’s tongue-tie was diagnosed.  I learned how to help him get more milk and nurse more comfortably until we could get the tongue-tie clipped.  The sun came out from behind the clouds that day.  I can not express enough gratitude to my sister-in-law, Patti, Amie Norris, and Lisa Weinshenker, without whom I would have eventually given up on breastfeeding.

The fading pain of nursing and my advancing babywearing skills made day to day living less traumatic for Gideon and I.  He was so much happier.  His contentment made my storm clouds less frequent.  I suppose that this was probably around the same time that my hormones were finally balancing out after birth as well. 

Now that the majority of the storm has passed, I can enjoy my son the way that I am supposed to.  Gideon is an awe inspiring little creature.  It seems as though he develops new skills on a daily basis.  He recognizes us and follows us with his eyes.  We are rewarded regularly with big toothless grins that speak for his happiness.  He grabs, coos at, and tells off his toys.  He snores, moans, and chuckles in his sleep.  Changing his diaper has gone from a screaming fit to a game in which he kicks his legs in a frenzy.  His neck, back, arms, and legs are so very strong and every doctor we’ve seen has commented on that. 




Every day with my son is more amazing than the last.  I am lucky enough to wake up to his face every morning and fall asleep listening to him breath.  When his face lights up with happiness, I can’t help but smile.  When he cries, I feel his pain.  The way he watches me while he nurses make my heart swell to almost painful proportions. 

How is it that I ever lived without him?

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